Monday, February 26, 2007
What not to say to a pregnant lady
Let the unsolicited advice begin. My abdomen has reached proportions that make it undeniable to strangers that I am in fact with child. Why is it that when a person sees a pregnant woman, all social graces go completely out the window? I went through this same thing with Chloe, but really, it never ceases to amaze me what perfect strangers will find appropriate to say. I had the lady at the grocery store tell me I was going to get huge being pregnant with twins (gee thanks...).
The most recent example though was while at a local baby store shopping for strollers. I told the sales lady that I am pregnant with twins, and we are looking for a stroller that would be suitable for one baby in a bucket seat, and a toddler (thinking most of the time, we'd carry the other baby). We are looking for something lightweight, and easy to maneuver (hence no triple stroller in our future). Anyway, she says, "Well, not all but MOST (emphasis hers) twins deliver early by c section and have to spend several weeks in the NICU. So, if you are due in June, you probably won't realistically get out of the house with them until September."
Excuse me? I find so many things wrong with this. First, get your facts straight before scaring a hormonal pregnant woman. And the facts are as follows: 50% of twin moms deliver between 35-37 weeks, some before and some after. Those babies born closer to 35 weeks spend about a week in the NICU on average, and those born closer to 37 weeks have a great chance of going home with you. Even if born before, they should be discharged by their original due date. Let me check - oh yeah, that's in June.
Second, I have a doctor who will let me try for a regular birth. She will even pull Baby B out by its feet, so as long as baby is doing well, there will be no c section. My doctor says of course every birth is different, but she doesn't worry so much about second timers, specially those who've already delivered large babies (yes, Chloe, or rather Chloe's head, was huge).
Third, even if something goes wrong, and I do have a C Section, and have babes in the NICU until end of June, I most certainly will not be spending all summer cooped up in a house with no air conditioning with two newborns and a two year old. And, I live in a neighborhood with lots of parks, sidewalks, and things to do in walking distance. I am a very active person, and there is no way a C section and a couple of kids will keep me bed ridden for three months.
But honestly, why did she have to say anything at all? Why not just point out the strollers and leave it at that?
The most recent example though was while at a local baby store shopping for strollers. I told the sales lady that I am pregnant with twins, and we are looking for a stroller that would be suitable for one baby in a bucket seat, and a toddler (thinking most of the time, we'd carry the other baby). We are looking for something lightweight, and easy to maneuver (hence no triple stroller in our future). Anyway, she says, "Well, not all but MOST (emphasis hers) twins deliver early by c section and have to spend several weeks in the NICU. So, if you are due in June, you probably won't realistically get out of the house with them until September."
Excuse me? I find so many things wrong with this. First, get your facts straight before scaring a hormonal pregnant woman. And the facts are as follows: 50% of twin moms deliver between 35-37 weeks, some before and some after. Those babies born closer to 35 weeks spend about a week in the NICU on average, and those born closer to 37 weeks have a great chance of going home with you. Even if born before, they should be discharged by their original due date. Let me check - oh yeah, that's in June.
Second, I have a doctor who will let me try for a regular birth. She will even pull Baby B out by its feet, so as long as baby is doing well, there will be no c section. My doctor says of course every birth is different, but she doesn't worry so much about second timers, specially those who've already delivered large babies (yes, Chloe, or rather Chloe's head, was huge).
Third, even if something goes wrong, and I do have a C Section, and have babes in the NICU until end of June, I most certainly will not be spending all summer cooped up in a house with no air conditioning with two newborns and a two year old. And, I live in a neighborhood with lots of parks, sidewalks, and things to do in walking distance. I am a very active person, and there is no way a C section and a couple of kids will keep me bed ridden for three months.
But honestly, why did she have to say anything at all? Why not just point out the strollers and leave it at that?
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